Flat-Out Honesty
Okay, I am going to be crystal-clear.
1. What you see is what you get. Period. There's no mind games, no bullshit, and no ulterior motives.
2. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to my family. Period. I do not deal with people who do. Screw ups? Hell, I'm the screw-up queen. Just admit it and let's *fix* it. Don't bullshit with me. I don't have time and if I did have time? I don't have the patience.
3. Conversely, when I screw up? I admit it. Denying fault is not one of my character flaws. If I'm in the wrong, I'll tell you. My big character flaws are impatience, being easily bored, and a healthy lack of tact. I tell it like it is, whether or not you want to hear it.
4. My big pet peeve? Being screwed over for something I *didn't* do. Hell, I screw up *all* the time. There are 100092834097 things to blame me for. Please don't invent things.
5. I am not ashamed of who I am. Don't ever make the mistake with me of assuming I am. I love my family - even the deeply screwed parts (and, fyi, family to me isn't about blood - there are about a handful of you that I'll go to hell and back for, and y'all (and your kids, etc.) know who you are). I love my heritage, my life, my world. I'm not ashamed of my business, my politics, my upbringing or my background.
6. Don't screw with my kid, because I will protect her heart, body, and soul with all I am. I'm not reasonable about it, I'm not P.C. about it, and I'm fierce. She's my baby and the most basic piece of my life.
7. If you need sympathy, I am not your girl. I'm sorry, I'd like to be better at it, but I'm not. I'll pat you once or twice, listen, give advice if you ask, then I'll tell you to put your big girl panties on and walk it off. I wish I could tell you that will change, but it won't.
8. I don't hold grudges. (That comes from having the attention span of a gnat on crack.) This leads to a few things - 1. if I say it's cool, it's cool. Let it go. Move on. 2. if I tell you to leave me be. LEAVE ME BE. Don't poke the bear. I will relax and move on. 3. if I tell you I'm finished, you're pretty much screwed. Just walk away and I will too and we can just get on with life.
9. When I tell you something, you need to know 2 things. First, I mean it. When I say to you, if you do x, I will do y. It's the truth. Period. No idle threats. Second, if I don't write it down and it's not an immediate thing? I will forget it. Please, if you need something/want something, you need to make sure you're in writing.
10. When it comes to business, don't assume that our friendship/love/relationship will protect you one iota if you screw with my bottom line. I am my daddy's daughter. Ladies and gentlemen, we would fire Larry if he screwed with Torquere and he and I have been together 20 years. I am a capitalist, through and through. I am about selling books. No, really. My family - Larry, Lorna, Amanda, all our dogs - my entire life hinges on sales and doing honest business. If you interfere with that, if you lie to me about work, if you break your word, you cannot work with me.
11. Let me be perfectly honest with you, when it comes to Torquere? Lorna and I are the bosses. That means that sometimes the rules don't apply to us. Torquere Press is not a democracy. Is it unfair? I don't really care. We spend 20 hours a day on this venture and sometimes things happen and many times the problems that *did* happen are discussed between me and my partner. Period. I don't give explanations about everything. I can't and I won't. If that doesn't work for you, I have years and years of experience saying, "I'm the mom/boss/manager, that's why."
12. That said, if you choose (or by your actions make me choose) to interrupt our working relationship, we can still be friends. Friendship and business are two different things. However, as a friend, I can tell you that airing our dirty laundry publicly (or semi-publicly) is probably a problem. I understand that is a Southern thing and I understand that it's my issue, but, in the interest of honesty? I don't call people out unless I have to. I prefer not being put in that situation.
You don't have to like me. In fact, I know a load of people that work with me don't like me as a person. That's understandable. However, I am being honest with you and, if I do take the time to talk with you, to be a part of your life/your family/your story/your working life, it's because I want to, not because it's the polite thing to do.
1. What you see is what you get. Period. There's no mind games, no bullshit, and no ulterior motives.
2. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to my family. Period. I do not deal with people who do. Screw ups? Hell, I'm the screw-up queen. Just admit it and let's *fix* it. Don't bullshit with me. I don't have time and if I did have time? I don't have the patience.
3. Conversely, when I screw up? I admit it. Denying fault is not one of my character flaws. If I'm in the wrong, I'll tell you. My big character flaws are impatience, being easily bored, and a healthy lack of tact. I tell it like it is, whether or not you want to hear it.
4. My big pet peeve? Being screwed over for something I *didn't* do. Hell, I screw up *all* the time. There are 100092834097 things to blame me for. Please don't invent things.
5. I am not ashamed of who I am. Don't ever make the mistake with me of assuming I am. I love my family - even the deeply screwed parts (and, fyi, family to me isn't about blood - there are about a handful of you that I'll go to hell and back for, and y'all (and your kids, etc.) know who you are). I love my heritage, my life, my world. I'm not ashamed of my business, my politics, my upbringing or my background.
6. Don't screw with my kid, because I will protect her heart, body, and soul with all I am. I'm not reasonable about it, I'm not P.C. about it, and I'm fierce. She's my baby and the most basic piece of my life.
7. If you need sympathy, I am not your girl. I'm sorry, I'd like to be better at it, but I'm not. I'll pat you once or twice, listen, give advice if you ask, then I'll tell you to put your big girl panties on and walk it off. I wish I could tell you that will change, but it won't.
8. I don't hold grudges. (That comes from having the attention span of a gnat on crack.) This leads to a few things - 1. if I say it's cool, it's cool. Let it go. Move on. 2. if I tell you to leave me be. LEAVE ME BE. Don't poke the bear. I will relax and move on. 3. if I tell you I'm finished, you're pretty much screwed. Just walk away and I will too and we can just get on with life.
9. When I tell you something, you need to know 2 things. First, I mean it. When I say to you, if you do x, I will do y. It's the truth. Period. No idle threats. Second, if I don't write it down and it's not an immediate thing? I will forget it. Please, if you need something/want something, you need to make sure you're in writing.
10. When it comes to business, don't assume that our friendship/love/relationship will protect you one iota if you screw with my bottom line. I am my daddy's daughter. Ladies and gentlemen, we would fire Larry if he screwed with Torquere and he and I have been together 20 years. I am a capitalist, through and through. I am about selling books. No, really. My family - Larry, Lorna, Amanda, all our dogs - my entire life hinges on sales and doing honest business. If you interfere with that, if you lie to me about work, if you break your word, you cannot work with me.
11. Let me be perfectly honest with you, when it comes to Torquere? Lorna and I are the bosses. That means that sometimes the rules don't apply to us. Torquere Press is not a democracy. Is it unfair? I don't really care. We spend 20 hours a day on this venture and sometimes things happen and many times the problems that *did* happen are discussed between me and my partner. Period. I don't give explanations about everything. I can't and I won't. If that doesn't work for you, I have years and years of experience saying, "I'm the mom/boss/manager, that's why."
12. That said, if you choose (or by your actions make me choose) to interrupt our working relationship, we can still be friends. Friendship and business are two different things. However, as a friend, I can tell you that airing our dirty laundry publicly (or semi-publicly) is probably a problem. I understand that is a Southern thing and I understand that it's my issue, but, in the interest of honesty? I don't call people out unless I have to. I prefer not being put in that situation.
You don't have to like me. In fact, I know a load of people that work with me don't like me as a person. That's understandable. However, I am being honest with you and, if I do take the time to talk with you, to be a part of your life/your family/your story/your working life, it's because I want to, not because it's the polite thing to do.
posted by Auntie Pooh @ 3:13 PM
2 Comments:
At 8:39 PM,
Jean said…
Just for the record, no Yankee I know with any sense of common courtesy and professionalism would call people out either.
And if there is one thing I've learned about you it's that there is no "between the lines". I admit I was surprised by that as I was getting to know you, because that's rare. You say what you mean and that's that. And I, for one, actually appreciate that approach.
You rock, lady.
*hugs*
At 7:15 AM,
C.Potts said…
Wow. I have absolutely no idea what's going on, but wow. Whatever happened, whatever bundle of stress has been dumped on you, whatever bad thing people did, I am sorry you have to deal with it.
And your Amazon baby is lucky to have such a fierce, protective Momma. (It may be Mama, I don't know how that's spelled in Texas)
If there's anything I can do to be helpful, you know where I am.
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